I've come a long way, Baby!

Oregon Coast
The photo has nothing to do with the post - 

Yesterday started like any other day until I received a call from a social worker in San Jose about my 75-year-old ex-husband. He had been found unconscious in a homeless camp and is now hospitalized with serious health issues. My heart sank. Despite our past, I agreed to be listed as a contact for his transfer to a skilled nursing facility. He's pretty much alienated everyone.  

I wasn’t surprised he still had my number in his wallet. 

After the call, memories surfaced - some good from early on, but mostly painful. I was reminded of the red flags I once ignored and the lasting scars. I knew I could not step back into old patterns of trying to fix what isn’t mine to fix anymore.

So I set clear boundaries. I checked California law, and I will remain only a contact. I will not take on power of attorney, sign any paperwork, or assume responsibility for his care, finances, or decisions. The social worker and case manager will handle everything. My sons have chosen to keep their distance, and I fully respect that.

I have forgiven him, but forgiveness does not mean re-entry into his life. It means I am free. I can care from a distance and entrust the rest to God.

There is still hope. As my husband reminded me, even the thief on the cross turned in his final moments (Luke 23:42–43). As long as there is breath, there is the possibility of him turning back. He did, at one time, love the Lord until addiction became his lord and master. 

UPDATE: Just as I was preparing to hit Publish, I received a call from his case worker. I’m relieved to hear that he is stable enough to be moved today, and they have identified three potential places for him to live. 

I always like to look for what God is teaching me - what lessons have I learned along the way. 

After years of facing difficult challenges with this man, I've finally learned to show him compassion without losing myself. I once thought that was impossible, but it took time and God's guidance to get here. Looking back, I realize, WOW, I’ve come a long way. Thank You, Jesus! 

All GLORY goes to God. 

Debby

Food for thought...

1. Have you ever felt responsible for fixing someone else’s life?  What helped you release that burden?

2. Where might God be asking you to step back and let Him take over?
3. Have you ever faced a situation that showed you just how much you’ve grown?