I've come a long way, Baby!

Oregon Coast
The photo has nothing to do with the post - 

Yesterday started like any other day until I received a call from a social worker in San Jose about my 75-year-old ex-husband. He had been found unconscious in a homeless camp and is now hospitalized with serious health issues. My heart sank. Despite our past, I agreed to be listed as a contact for his transfer to a skilled nursing facility. He's pretty much alienated everyone.  

I wasn’t surprised he still had my number in his wallet. 

After the call, memories surfaced - some good from early on, but mostly painful. I was reminded of the red flags I once ignored and the lasting scars. I knew I could not step back into old patterns of trying to fix what isn’t mine to fix anymore.

So I set clear boundaries. I checked California law, and I will remain only a contact. I will not take on power of attorney, sign any paperwork, or assume responsibility for his care, finances, or decisions. The social worker and case manager will handle everything. My sons have chosen to keep their distance, and I fully respect that.

I have forgiven him, but forgiveness does not mean re-entry into his life. It means I am free. I can care from a distance and entrust the rest to God.

There is still hope. As my husband reminded me, even the thief on the cross turned in his final moments (Luke 23:42–43). As long as there is breath, there is the possibility of him turning back. He did, at one time, love the Lord until addiction became his lord and master. 

UPDATE: Just as I was preparing to hit Publish, I received a call from his case worker. I’m relieved to hear that he is stable enough to be moved today, and they have identified three potential places for him to live. 

I always like to look for what God is teaching me - what lessons have I learned along the way. 

After years of facing difficult challenges with this man, I've finally learned to show him compassion without losing myself. I once thought that was impossible, but it took time and God's guidance to get here. Looking back, I realize, WOW, I’ve come a long way. Thank You, Jesus! 

All GLORY goes to God. 

Debby

Food for thought...

1. Have you ever felt responsible for fixing someone else’s life?  What helped you release that burden?

2. Where might God be asking you to step back and let Him take over?
3. Have you ever faced a situation that showed you just how much you’ve grown?

A CHATTY this and that on a Monday

A new week is here, and I’m working on getting back into a more consistent blog schedule. You can probably expect a new post from me every Monday—at the very least—until I get back into the swing of things… unless something crazy happens!

😙 Okay, okay… You all wore me down. Here is my little cotton eyelet dress. It was perfect for our 90-degree weather: light, comfortable, and surprisingly cool. There’s a slip lining underneath, but the bottom tier is unlined, which lets the air flow through those tiny eyelet openings at the hem. A small detail, but it made a big difference. 

I’m definitely not one to stand out in a crowd! My son Michael once joked that I dress like a communist, which made me chuckle. I used to stick with neutral or muted colors.  I'm a San Franciscan - that's what we wear. It tends to be foggy and cooler than the rest of California. 

So anyway, after he said that, I realized I should try to brighten up my wardrobe a bit, so I've made an effort to add more colors. But honestly, black and white have always been my comfort zone. And I just adore wearing white during the summer, and I'm not in San Francisco anymore. 

 So there! 

My shoes have about a 2-inch cork-edged platform, and yes—that is Susie’s tail making a guest appearance in the photo. I can also wear these with capris, which makes them a versatile little addition to my closet. There’s even a tiny rhinestone in the center of each daisy… something I didn’t notice until after the event! Thankfully, they’re subtle.

Oh, and I forgot to add the little sweater wrap that I pretty much wore the whole time. I can wear that any time. The AC in these hotels gets cold. 

I was honestly surprised by how comfortable these sandals are. I’m at that stage where I can’t just throw on any old flip-flops anymore— I need support. I stood and walked in these for a few hours and did just fine. They’ll definitely get a lot of use. And they're vegan if that matters. 

The difference between faux leather and vegan leather. 👇

From what I’ve read, faux leather has traditionally been made from synthetic materials such as polyurethane (and formerly PVC) and is often used in fast fashion. Vegan leather, on the other hand, is more about intention - avoiding animal products while also aiming for more environmentally conscious practices. 

🦶👣🦶👣🦶👣

Speaking of changes… have you ever noticed how our feet change as we get older? I’m no longer a size 5. These days, I find myself in a 6 or even a 6½, and my feet definitely feel wider. I’ve read that as we age, we lose some of the natural cushioning in our feet, and our ligaments lose elasticity. Even menopause can play a role.

The one upside? Shoes are much easier to find now! It wasn’t always easy tracking down a size 5. Still, I can’t exactly brag about wearing the same size I did in high school anymore. My mom, by the way, wore a tiny size 4½.

On a completely different note, I won this Survivor game at Christmas during our Secret Santa exchange (along with another game and a pretty puzzle), and last night Char came over for a BBQ, so the three of us gave it a try. It’s a Survivor-style game, and it’s definitely more fun with a bigger group (and it helps if everyone knows the show). It was still good and necessary to spend that time together.

Char is going through a difficult season right now, and even though the game didn’t quite land, being together mattered more than anything else.

Laydee's new ride. 

And then there’s Laydee.

We had some trouble with the other cart we bought, so we decided to bite the bullet and repurpose it to haul heavier items, gardening supplies, and picnic supplies when we go to the lake, etc.

 This new one arrived just a day after I ordered it - so quick! It feels much sturdier, which gives me peace of mind. It also has two handles for better maneuverability and is at a comfortable height for both of us.  The last one had her trying to leap out, and that was more than a little nerve-wracking.

This one has three entry points: front, back, and even a top opening. She can walk right up the ramp, settle in, and step out easily when she’s ready. It’s a thoughtful design, and she seems to enjoy the ride.

But if I’m being honest… this part is hard. 😥

Caring for an elderly dog who isn’t quite ready to go, but also isn’t who she used to be at times.  It’s a tender place to live. We had “the talk” yesterday, getting on the same page about what this season may hold. It feels like this may be her last Spring and Summer.

I wish that weren’t the case.

Her mobility is declining, and aside from little bursts of energy now and then, she doesn’t go far. The past couple of days, her appetite hasn’t been great either, which we’re watching closely. She still loves to sit outside in the sun and watch the world go by.  Even with Char here, she just didn’t seem like herself. Tired. A little withdrawn.

Maybe I’m reading too much into it… We know our animals. We notice when something shifts.

That doesn’t mean this is the end. Not today.

Just a couple of not-so-good days. And truthfully… we all have those.

So for now, we’ll keep loving her, caring for her, and enjoying each good moment as it comes. 

This week I have a few things on my plate, and the weather has been so nice. Oh—and I have to tell you this. While we were eating dinner last night, we looked out onto the patio and saw two lizards… mating! It gave us a good laugh. And then this morning, as I was sitting on the back covered patio, I saw something jump up onto the fence—and it was a rat.

Yes… They’re back.

I only saw the one, and maybe he was just passing through, but my husband is now officially back on rat patrol.

I hope you all have an enjoyable week, taking in the sunshine, listening to the birds, and just being grateful to be alive.

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.” — Luke 12:6

Debby

See you on Friday for my Genesis book review. 

https://myshastahome.blogspot.com/2026/03/the-bible-in-66-reviews.html

Valentines Day with my three little boys

It’s Valentine Week, with Saturday being the big day  

Honestly, I’ve always been such a boy mom, even before I had my three sons. The only time I truly got excited about Valentine’s Day was in grade school. It was mostly ignored in high school, except for the girls, but I didn't enjoy it. Too much expectation, and we all know what happens when we expect something we most likely will not get. We get disappointed because the cute boy in typing class didn't give you a Valentine, so I outgrew Valentine's Day fairly quickly. 

I suppose there was a time when I thought I was a "romantic," but I don't consider myself one now, though I can certainly be romantic at the appropriate times. I think I’m simply too practical to lean into romance for romance’s sake.

After infidelity and divorce, the way you view love and romance can change. The sparkle dims. Expectations soften. You learn to guard your heart more carefully. Love becomes quieter, steadier, and far more grounded in reality.

But for my little boys, I would fall head over heels into Valentine love.

My three guys - with my VW camper van in the background. 

Michael (in red cap), age 8, Navy, with the bald head, was 2, and Foodie, with the big goofy grin, was 5. 

They never really embraced the pink hearts, frilly cards, and flowery fuss. So instead, I tried to make the day fun, warm, and memorable in ways that fit them, not Hallmark. In exchange, I received their delightful Valentine artwork, coupon books filled with thoughtful chores for me to redeem, and other teacher-directed school valentines. These were charming and certainly appreciated, but what I truly treasured were more of their simple homemade gifts, the ones that reflected their hearts and creativity. 

As they grew older, all three eventually admitted they didn’t care much for this holiday. It felt too girly, too awkward. Their hearts were dedicated to sports, not the flutter of young romance, and they were unsettled by the spectacle of Valentine’s Day at school with the girls. Too much pressure. 

Then they told me they felt bad because I didn’t have a special love like the other moms. 

That broke my heart.

I told them that they were my special loves and would always be. It was also an excellent opportunity to remind them that Jesus was God's perfect love to us. 

We continued to celebrate Valentine’s Day, just in a more guy-like way. What boy can resist the charm of a candlelit pizza dinner, especially when Mom entrusts him with matches and the serious responsibility of lighting the candles? 😳 I always set out three candles, one for each son, to keep them from arguing. 

Instead of chocolates and hearts, they received bags of SF Giants roasted peanuts, BIG LEAGUE CHEW, and baseball cards. Then we would settle in with an action movie and a roaring fire in the fireplace.

❤️

No mushy, kissy stuff.

And then we moved on.

February 14, 2002, 

was my last Valentine’s Day with just them.

Two days later, on the 16th, my three sons stood together and gave me away at my remarriage. It was so special when the Pastor asked, 

As it turned out, it was also my last Valentine’s Day with Michael, as he would pass away the next year. 

Looking back at these tender memories, I have come to believe that love does not always arrive wrapped in romance. Sometimes it comes in the form of three little boys, candlelit pizza dinners, and quiet nights by the fire. 

God’s fingerprints were everywhere in those years. In the midst of loss and broken dreams, He entrusted me with my three little boys and allowed their love to become my healing. Valentine's Day was every day. 

Monday is the day I always have things to do. Laundry, straightening up, my bible study, errands, etc. The husband has taken Laydee to the Vet for her monthly shot. She's doing incredibly well, but I believe it is the mild weather. That stretch from Dec to Jan, when we had some cold temperatures, was rough on her arthritis. 

Spring is in the air...

We had some rain yesterday, 

But today is bright, clear, and sunny. 

Until next time...

Debby

Christmas Eve Meal Planning

 

Happy Friday afternoon. 

It's 2:47 as I start this post. I got up at 5:15 am, wide awake.

Something like this. 

It's been raining all day. I had to go out and buy part of my Christmas Eve dinner. That is when we have always opened gifts and gathered as a family. This year, I planned a simple deli meat and cheese platter (dry salami, turkey, ham, swiss, sharp cheddar, and pepper jack) that I am assembling myself, along with potato salad, pasta salad, mini Bagel dogs, prawns, deviled eggs, chicken wings (Sara is bringing the wings), fruit, and hot queso dip with tortilla chips.

I could have just ordered it already made, but a platter over $100? No Way! I can get more meat and cheese for less. 

It was difficult since Cassie is a picky eater. I was going to make ham, but she doesn’t like ham. Then I considered turkey, but I don’t feel like dealing with that. It was too hard to find something she would eat. I refuse to get stressed, and fortunately, Sara said she likes Bagel dogs. She only likes chicken breasts - nothing with bones. So I decided on simple deli meats to get fresh from the butcher on Monday. There is something for everybody. 

Usually, we have homemade soup, a big pot of chili, Lasagna, or Mexican food. They are all big eaters and love variety. I always try to please, but this time, I was having a hard time. I'm sure it will be fine. It has to be because I'm done.

The town is all lit up with lights - 

We're skipping the Garden of Lights this year. 

We might go for a drive around town tomorrow evening, taking in all the decorated homes. 

Christmas 2019

I didn't make it clear in my last post - Pops wasn’t my dad—he was my husband’s dad—but I loved him and miss him. He was a real character, always finding a way to get into trouble at the Veterans Home. I just wanted to make sure you all knew he wasn’t my dad, who passed away in 2007 at age 75.

I still laugh when I think back on all his shenanigans. 

We're heading out to visit Margie and bring her a Hanukkah box of treats. She's my friend who lives in the care facility. I've been so busy I haven't stopped in to visit, and I feel bad about that. We should NEVER get so busy that we lose track of our good friends. 

I know I'll have some 'splaining to do! 

Or not what's on the table...

With all my planning and shopping for Christmas Eve, I plumb forgot about our dinner. So it will be a "jump for the cupboards" type of meal. Or eggs or something. 

We'll live. 

Until Next Time, 

Debby

First Things First! 🎄

Beautiful December has arrived! I plan to fully embrace the spirit of the season by creating new memories while cherishing the old ones from Christmases past!

I’m a nostalgic soul, and my home is filled with treasures passed down from my family and their family and so on and so forth. I have at least 3 generations -  not counting mine. Every box I open feels like I'm bringing back cherished memories and stories of those who once owned the items. These meaningful family connections mean so much more to me than anything I can find at Hobby Lobby. While I adore shopping there, it can be a sensory overload for me.  Ultimately, my home has always been a tapestry of stories that reflect my family's story. 

The outdoor nativity was arranged in the front yard yesterday, marking the beginning of a Christmas tradition! I fondly recall receiving my childhood nativity set from my mom, but, unfortunately, it ultimately fell apart over the years. Then, in the 1980s, I stumbled upon this nativity at Montgomery Ward, which was similar to what I had grown up with. I've showcased this set in every home I've lived in, as the tradition continues. 

Years ago, we had a Maine Coon named Kitty Koo who loved basking in the warmth of the nativity lights and preferred the outdoors to the coziness inside. He would sleep indoors during the day, but at night, he wanted out. I always think of him. 💓

🎄🎄🎄🎄

My husband will put up the lights on the outside of the house. Our old lights, which I had before we married, were probably close to 30 years old, and they died last year. 

Getting the nativities up inside the house. 

My newest one. 

I’m not finished yet - there will be candles, or fairy lights, with greenery tucked in.  Once complete, they’ll add a nice focal point the living room creating a cozy atmosphere that I am looking forward to when I'm done. 

🎄🎄🎄🎄

The tree will get put up this week - 

No rush - we have what's most representative of the season. 

I did place this metal stake among my dusty millers 

with their unique pale greenish leaves.

I'm slowly but surely getting there.  

There will be time for the stuffed Santa to come out for display -  his worn fabric from countless holiday seasons, the rustic wooden trees, the charming white wooden church, and the simple wooden reindeer my dad made. 

But for right now,

 It's First Things First 

May we all delight and fully embrace this first evening of December.

Debby

 

We went for the turkey and now have a daughter!

Yesterday, our family gathered for a wonderful Thanksgiving at my son's home, and it truly was a delightful celebration! My amazing daughter-in-law, Sara, and her sister, Cassie, put in so much effort to make everything perfect. Sara's perfectly brined turkey was a hit, and the feast was abundant - with way more food than I could even try!

They generously sent us home with plenty of delicious leftovers plus desserts! Which we will enjoy tonight for dinner. 

I thoroughly enjoyed everything, so I happily invited Sara to prepare our Thanksgiving meal each year if she’d like, and she agreed! 

I’m excited to take on Christmas in return! 

It was especially awesome that I wasn't expected to do anything - 

Being the matriarch of the family has its rewards. 

I’ve always wanted to host my own Thanksgiving, but my mom preferred to keep the tradition at her house for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, with absolutely no consideration for my family and me.  All I wanted was a little compromise - where I could begin to make my own traditions with my boys. 

I knew there would be one day, I would pass the torch - and happily take that step back - when my daughter-in-law was ready, so they could shine and celebrate their beautiful traditions as a family.

What a lively scene it was, with my sons chatting so loudly, each trying to outdo the other! Their banter never fails to bring me joy - my only regret is that Michael wasn't there as well.  Navy has this hilarious routine about baseball players at the plate that always leaves me in stitches. And don’t get me started on his take on the funny end zone dances in football - it’s pure comedy gold! He has one for basketball, too. 

The thing is, Navy only does this for family. 

And then reality shows up...

Recently, Cassie, Sara's sister, has been navigating the challenging journey of losing her high school sweetheart of 20 years, a couple of months ago. Her grief is still fresh, but she is showing incredible strength. There were moments when the weight of her emotions became overwhelming. 

It did not put a damper on the evening; instead, it fostered a closeness and connection. My husband warmly hugged her and welcomed her, saying she was now part of our family. 

We went for the turkey and now have a daughter! 💕

It was so nice to see Laydee having a good time! She looked adorable in her leather boots, which helped her navigate the wooden floors with ease. Seeing the Grandcat Harry is always nice, although we never did catch a glimpse of Ed. He prefers the peacefulness away from the noise, so it's understandable he chose to hide. 

The thankfulness that blossomed in November shouldn’t go away with the leftover turkey. As the month ends and Advent begins, we enter a time of waiting - not just any waiting, but hopeful waiting. The world looked forward to the Messiah, and now we look forward to His presence in our daily lives: in our homes, our families, our joys, and our struggles.

See you in December! 

Debby

 

Chewing on the Hodgepodge

 

Join in here 

1. Do you feel like you have a 'full plate' at the moment? In what way? 

No. 

It’s okay to say no and let go of the non-essential, which allows me to focus on what truly matters.

How did you learn to cook? 

1. I learned from my mom by watching her cook. 

2. In high school, I took two years of home economics, and cooking classes prepared me for when I left home at 18. 

3. Then came the Culinary School of Hard Knocks, where I learned through trial and error. 

If you have children, did you teach or encourage them to cook? 

My sons were more interested in eating than cooking. My middle son, nicknamed "Foodie," turned his love for food into a career as a Dietitian. He started working at 16 at Round Table Pizza, and has since held various food-related jobs, including several years at Safeway. He’s a good cook who loves experimenting with new recipes. My youngest son enjoys barbecuing and preparing meals for his wife after her long shifts at the hospital. 

Do you like to follow a recipe or is your cooking style more 'let's wing it'.  

I enjoy at times, diving into new recipes and getting creative in the kitchen. Winging it often leads to delicious surprises, but I wish I could remember the exact measurements for my unique creations! 😕

3. Last time you bit off more than you could chew? Elaborate. 

In my younger days as a single mom to three energetic boys, I felt the pressure to do it all. I juggled my daycare business, sold Avon, and crafted to support us, pouring my heart into being their provider with absolutely no help from their father. 

Oh well - what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. 

4. When did you last say 'the more the merrier' and mean it? 

Just a few weeks back at our monthly church potluck, we had an overabundance of desserts (very little main dishes and salads), and I sarcastically remarked, “The More the Merrier!” as I was the one receiving the sweets to put into the kitchen. 

5. Write an acrostic using the word T-H-A-N-K-S. 

T - Trust in God's abundant provision.  

H - Cultivate a vibrant hope in Christ

A - Abide deeply in Christ

N - Nurture a grateful heart

K - Show kindness to others as a beautiful reflection of God's love within us. 

S - Find your strength in the Lord and smile. 

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

 

Though miles may lie between us, 

We are never far apart in heart. 💖

Happy Thanksgiving!🍗

Debby