Not much is going on this Saturday. We went over to Hawes’ Farm and walked around a bit, just taking it all in. After that, we picked up a couple of deli sandwiches from our favorite market and brought them home for a late lunch. They were so big and hearty that dinner tonight will be simple, probably a salad for me, while my husband will want something a little more substantial… and that will be on him.
Just an ordinary day.
And yet, May has a way of holding more than it shows.
I used to love this month. In many ways, I still do. But it’s also the month my son Michael died. May 8, 2003. He was only 25. So no matter how many years pass, this time always carries a quiet ache. I find myself remembering not just that day, but the days leading up to it… the moments that are forever etched in my heart.
To clarify the situation, the wax privets I've been grumbling talking about are not located on our property; instead, they’re growing on neighboring properties. I can't simply approach the homeowners and request that they remove these plants.
There are seasons in life that seem to bloom overnight and not always in ways I welcome, and that is where I find myself now.
From my front yard to across the street, the wax privet trees are everywhere. My husband removed ours years ago, and while they bothered me then, I don’t remember them affecting me like this. But something has changed. Maybe it’s age - you know, the thingy that was in my body that used to work, and kept me from having allergies, no longer functions. Get used to it, Debby!
I tried taking Allegra, hoping for relief. Instead, I spent the day in a fog where I was a zombie, and I realized I don’t want to drift through my days half-awake just to avoid discomfort. I want to be present and just figure out a way to deal with it.
I'm learning to adapt! The nasal spray is really helping, and I no longer feel like I just walked off the set of The Night of the Living Dead. I'll just need to embrace wearing a mask when I'm out in the yard. It might not be ideal, but it's a good solution for this season, and I guess I'm going to have to be okay with it.
It's not the end of the world - just an inconvenience.
This allergy season will pass. The blooms will fade. But the lesson of learning to live with what I can’t change or control…
That’s what will take root.
Thanks for stopping by ~ Enjoy your evening -
Debby
Allergy season is hard on my daughter. On one side of her yard is a "liquid amber" tree is getting ready to coat her lawn and pool with it yellow pollen. Oh boy, she says.
ReplyDeleteI feel for her. Basically two choices - medicate or deal with it and since I don't like to alter the way I feel, I have no choice but to deal with it. I sure hope she can cope and has something that works for her.
DeleteI had to look up the "privet" bush to see what it was, and it is very similar to the ligustrum bushes that grow here in Florida, and we did have some at our last house, right outside the back door. I do remember that scent, and that I couldn't get close to it. I think we might have one here growing wild at the corner of our front yard near the street, but it is far enough away that I don't notice it unless I happen to walk out that way. So yes, now that I know what you are talking about I can truly sympathsize with you as I can well imagine how hard it would be to have a whole hedge of that flower blooming all around you. I take Claritin or a generic Loratadine non drowsy allergy medicine as needed, and it helps a lot. Plus just staying away from the offending plants as much as possible. Hopefully the blooming season for them will be over soon. Regarding the month of May, I too have "anniversaries" of great sorrows this month. May 7th will be the 20th anniversary of when my mother passed away, and then May 25th will be the 12th anniversary of when our son Matthew passed away at age 41 after a 4 year battle with cancer. Mother's Day always hits me kind of hard, as I am sure it does you as well. The great comfort for us is that we know we will see our precious loved ones again some day, but until then we cherish the sweet memories and remember them with love. Sending (((HUGS))) to you as you anticipate May 8th and the days leading up to it. May God give you peace of mind and heart, and help you focus on the wonderful memories of those 25 years that you were blessed to have him with you. That's what I try to do as well. And I look forward to heaven all the more.
ReplyDeleteLoss is all part of life that no one escapes.
DeleteIt's so tough in spring for anyone who suffers with allergies, Debby, and although I don't have them, my heart goes out to you. May God bless you always and comfort you when memories return and thoughts of your son linger.
ReplyDeleteI didn't have them for years My sister used to have asthma so I felt blessed that I didn't have any allergies.
DeleteI am keeping in prayer...the loss of your son...it just makes me so sad...been there, done that and still dealing with it. Much love to you.
ReplyDeleteI do like that wax whatever plants---my allergies are just crazy right now too. Sigh.
It will be 23 years - almost the age when he passed at 25. Surreal
DeleteAllergy season is kicking in here too. Watery eyes make me look like I'm crying!
ReplyDeleteI hope it improves soon for you.
I can see why May is hard for you. Hugs!
Its not as hard as it used to be but it does give me pause.
DeleteI feel so bad for you with your allergies. I am thankful I dont have them. Hope the allergy season is not long for you and it goes away soon. Janice
ReplyDeleteI hope so, too
DeleteSo many people suffer from allergies these days. It's miserable for them, but for most it's a relatively short period. I hope your mask is the answer for you.
ReplyDeleteI was hoping for some rain but that hasn't happened.
DeleteI hear ya on all those bushes growing. I don't like them not because of the allergies, but the way they look. My neighbor has some bushes in the front of her house, and in spring, they are nice and full, but in the other seasons, they just look like bare dead bushes. I hope your allergies get better. I'm sorry that May is a month of quiet sorrow for you with your dear Michael. I hope this month comes with some nice surprises for you, Debby. And I've always wanted to try fried green tomatoes. ; )
ReplyDeleteThe fried green tomatoes were delicious. Hot and crispy deep fried. My husband can have his trout and I'll stick with the green tomatoes and a coke.
DeleteYes, grief etches itself in our hearts. I am sorry, even after all of this time, for the loss of your son.
ReplyDeleteI think we all have things we need to learn to accept and live with, things we can’t change or control. Acceptance is tough at times, but I’m right there with you. There is a peace in acceptance.
Yes there is, Barbara. Thank you for your kind words
DeleteYes, grief etches itself in our hearts. I am sorry, even after all of this time, for the loss of your son.
ReplyDeleteI think we all have things we need to learn to accept and live with, things we can’t change or control. Acceptance is tough at times, but I’m right there with you.
Debbie, I don't care how long it has been since your son died, it is always going to hurt and a mom will always remember. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, moms never forget!
DeleteOh yes, I know all about these 'silent anniversaries of the heart." Grief has no timeline. Wow, that $60 for trout and fried green tomatoes is sobering! I love the latter, but would probably opt to try making them myself.
ReplyDeleteI hope whatever's triggering your allergies takes a hike real soon!
I don't mind spending the money if we were all satisfied. Im not used to eating fried foods.
DeleteSorry you have to deal with those. allergies. So many people seem to have them. I'm one of the lucky ones who don't have them.
ReplyDeleteThey usually run in families.
DeleteI understand about May, it's a beautiful time of year and yet we lost a grandson this month 30 years ago. He is always remembered.
ReplyDeleteYeah April is a sad month for me as it is the month my parents passed away
ReplyDeleteI empathize with you on the allergies! My neighbors, in our former neighborhood, had a lovely gardenia bush by their garage. When it bloomed, it was like a being hit in the face with a blunt object every time I walked out my front door. I am sorry to learn you lost your son. The pain of that never really goes away. Sending a hug and some love.
ReplyDeleteI love your perspective on choosing presence over the "Allegra fog," even if it means embracing a mask in the garden for a little while. What is your favorite thing to plant once the privet blooms finally fade?
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry Debbie about the loss of your son, 2003 doesn't seem so long ago, hard to believe it has been 23 years. Amazing how the time passes. My Dad's birthday is in May, and he passed in June three years ago, and his loss still aches deeply in my soul. I'm sorry about the allergies with that bush! That makes it so hard when you can't do anything about it. Praying for you with all these difficult things! Hugs, prayers and blessings for you!
ReplyDeleteHi Debby,
ReplyDeleteI am sending prayers and hugs regarding the allergies.
Oh I get it, watery eyes for me. BOOO!! HOOO!!!
I understand why May would not be a favorite. I am sending a big hug!
xo
Carla
I have mild allergies that I've developed in the last few years. They don't always bother me but when they do it's miserable! Itchy eyes and throat, sneezing and runny nose! uGH! So I sympathize with anyone who suffers daily with allergy symptoms! Happy May!
ReplyDeleteI apologize I did not acknowledge the sad anniversary you have in May. My prayers of comfort are with you.
ReplyDeleteWith me it is the end of July when we lost our daughter. We seem to manage well most of the year, but as the day gets progressively closer we feel the pain all over again. You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
In my experience, when you lose someone close to you the grief ebbs and flows forever.
ReplyDeleteAllergy season is so hard on many, I hope your mask helps.
ReplyDeleteAll the best Jan
Sending you ((HUGS)) for the loss of your son. I've never had fried green tomatoes. Sorry the meal wasn't worth the cost for it. Sorry about that plant situation also. I'm so sorry that there is nothing that can help you. How long do they bloom? I'm glad the nasal spray has helped. You take care.
ReplyDelete