The Bigger Picture
A few days ago, I wrote a blog post titled "It's Only Money." Upon further consideration, I realized that I may not have explained it well.
The phrase "It's Only Money" holds a deep meaning for me as it underscores the idea that, although money is necessary, it should not overshadow life's greater priorities. While money certainly has its place, becoming overly fixated on it may cause us to overlook the more significant and meaningful aspects of life - the things that are part of the bigger picture.
Once Upon a Time I was a young wife, I struggled to make ends meet, trying to pay the gas bill and put food on the table while dealing with the challenges of having an alcoholic husband. During those difficult times, I often turned to my husband's mother for support, sharing my fears and frustrations with her. However, her response always struck a nerve. She would simply say, "It's Only Money." This lack of empathy and understanding left me feeling even more upset and alone. I longed for her to acknowledge the hardship my three little ones and I were enduring because of her son's actions and offer some financial assistance. When I think back on that, it was selfish of me to think I was entitled to be rescued by his mother.
After that, I started going to Al-Anon meetings, and it didn't take me long to understand that my attempt to maintain a "controlled" life filled with worry and anxiety was futile. I realized that I had no ability to change him, but I could definitely change myself. A year later, we ended up getting divorced. By that time, I had already launched my own home daycare, showing that I was taking proactive steps to alter my circumstances. All the anxiety and worry from the past had only served to paralyze me, preventing me from taking any constructive action.
Years later, I remarried, and then tragedy struck when my eldest son passed away unexpectedly. This heart-wrenching experience made me realize the true significance of that particular saying and brought me back to a time when I believed, "If I only had more money..."
The loss of a loved one and poor health are things we are powerless over, while earning more money is something within our control.
Whenever I face a difficulty, I assess it based on my personal principles and beliefs before deciding on a course of action. It's just the way I process things - so that I won't jump to conclusions and start to worry about things that I have absolutely no control over.
No one's dead
No one is dying
It's not the end of the world
The certainty of these events cannot be prevented, regardless of the vast wealth one may possess. Whether we like it or not, these circumstances will eventually touch every one of us.
Money won't bail us out of life's struggles. But there is One who can lead us out of worry and anxiety over things that are not in our realm of control. Some say, "It's too hard," "I just can't," or "it's the way I am."
You can change it if you want to. If you already have a close personal relationship with Jesus, then you should turn it over to Him. He tells us not to worry, so why worry? Worrying shortens your life. That's how important this is.
I feel heartbroken when I learn someone is paralyzed with worry and anxiety. I understand because that was me at one time. We have the perfect fix if we choose to surrender it all to God (like we're supposed to). It is not our job to worry.
I wish that for all of you.
Just Trying to Help,
Debby
You didn't sound entitled to me. Based soley on the second paragraph, you sounded lonely and afraid. Reading on, you seemed to gain power. Good on, ya.
ReplyDeleteI did want her to fix it, as if she could. I was young…
DeleteThank you for this very open and honest and personal message today. I especially appreciate all of the verses shared at the end about "worry", and how God has everything under control, so we do not need to worry. He will give us what we need and clear the way to help us out of terrible situations when we are no longer able to cope on our own. He will make a way when there doesn't seem to be a way...we just have to trust Him and believe He will take care of us. A beautiful testimony today. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI seem to be confronted lately everywhere I go, with so many trapped by worry and anxiety and I feel bad. Standing in line to buy my groceries, people will share their concerns to me. At first I look around to see if they’re talking to someone else.
DeleteSo many hurting people.
Phil. 4:6+7 are Dave's and my Life verses. Worry can be consuming and at times it still is for me. But that's because I am human...
ReplyDeleteThank you for your transparent testimony and your trust in the Lord.
Sue
I believe “worry and anxiety” seem to my thing. I tend to zero in on the suffering of those who do what I used to do and still have to struggle with at times.
DeleteMy struggle with it and working to overcome it with God’s help, might be able to help others.
Great lesson. Very timely. I kinda have the same "mantra" about situations: I'm not dead. I'm not sick or in pain. And I remind myself that money was made up by the Government in order to lord over us and/or take it away. When I finally realized that money is nice but it isn't "real", if you get my drift, nor eternal, it changed my whole attitude towards having it. God is blessing us with enough to be comfortable and even a few extras. I should be thankful, trust Jesus, continue to help others as best I can, and move on. No more stress if I only listen to His voice. 💙
ReplyDeleteIt’s important to break it down if a person needs a visual. Just think of all that God’s people could accomplish if they trusted God with their worries and anxiety.
DeleteDebby...I tried sending you a private message in regards to this post, but even when I do receive the blog post via email...your email address does not come up. Perhaps I'm doing something wrong. anyways...This post struck home and I appreciate all that you have said.
ReplyDeleteHmm I don’t know why. I posted my email on your latest post.
DeleteYour reflection on "It's Only Money" is deeply poignant and thoughtful. It highlights how financial concerns, while important, often pale in comparison to the more profound and unchangeable aspects of life such as personal loss and health. Your journey through difficult times and your eventual realizations about the limits of what money can fix are both moving and insightful. It’s inspiring to see how you've turned your experiences into valuable lessons, focusing on what you can control and seeking understanding beyond material concerns.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a personal and meaningful perspective. It’s a reminder that while money can ease some struggles, it’s the deeper, intangible aspects of life that truly matter.
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Gosh, Debby. Regardless of our age, who among us can't relate to your story. Alcoholism wasn't a part of my story, but worry and fixation on financial security was. And is. I often forget to take my hands off the steering wheel, so thank you for these necessary reminders.
ReplyDeleteWorry and financial security for us, might come from parents who grew up during the depression. I don’t know. All I know at this stage of my life, is serenity -
DeleteI used to worry about things that I couldn't control. But God . . . When I came to know Jesus, I knew I had to let Him and let go of things and people who couldn't or wouldn't change. It is so freeing, Debby, I agree. Thanks for being so honest about your feelings and experiences.
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
It’s a matter of mindset. I too have had to let go of people and things in order to fully embrace God’s provisions without others pulling me in a different direction. Thanks for sharing more about your journey as well.
DeleteFirst up the saying "It's only money" annoys me as when you don't have and money life is so much harder. When we were young it would often be hard to understand good advice when it was given and the words "trust in God" made no sense to me and is also something many young people struggle with
ReplyDeleteI’m certainty not bursting at the seams with an endless supply of money. It just gives me comfort to trust God for my financial future rather than worry. I can understand how hard it is for people to understand that concept- I used to be that way. Anyway my post wasn’t meant to annoy anyone . Just something to think about it.
DeleteThe post didn't annoy me just the saying
DeleteOh okay. 👍🏻
DeleteWhat a great post...and I often say, "It's only money." or "It is what it is."--life is hard, period. My / our bills are paid, it's a struggle etc...but I am not complaining. In the end, like my husband says, I have never seen a hearse pulling a U-Haul. wink. Most of us are making the best of it/whatever / however we can. Great post, my friend. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteLife sure isn’t as easy as we may have believed in our younger days, that’s for sure! I like what your husband says - Never heard that before. We’re hanging in there as well. What choice do we have? lol
DeleteHi Debby, great post! Loved the verses too. I always have to remember the difference between a want and a need. I have all I need to live comfortably. I watch how I spend my money, but still have enough to give to help somewhat our or make a donation to charity. I may want certain things that I once had, but those are material things. Now the basic is what is important, and health is moved up. Family comes after God who is first. I can't imagine losing a child and I am sorry that happened to you. Have a great Sunday!
ReplyDeleteThe older we get our priorities have changed, Lord willing for the better. I try to live in contentment no matter what.
DeletePhilippians 4:11-13
A great post and good Bible quotations. Thank you so much.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you and your family always.
And thank you, Victor
DeleteI was a worry wart in my younger years. My first husband was absent more than he was around and fortunately I did have the help from my own parents, but not monetarily, just the support I needed. I worked as much overtime as I could and then went to college at night to better myself and my children. I always say when God closes a door, he always opens a window. This was a great post Debby. Janice
ReplyDeleteIsn’t that the truth.
DeleteA good support system makes all the difference. I chose not to tell my parents mainly because my mom was the interfering type. She would have made the situation worse. It was that one time, I had to grow up and make my own decision. I did have awesome support through my church family. They were the absolute best.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom! I am sorry for the pain you had to endure with an alcoholic husband, then raising your boys on your own and then enduring the tragedy of your son´s death. Your steadfast faith in Christ is admirable.
ReplyDeleteLove this blog post. It's just what I needed to read. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you... your honesty and love for helping others shows Debby. I am thankful I found you in blogland.
ReplyDeleteCarla