Thanksgiving Pasts
These gleaming pieces of silverware were handed down from my parents and grandparents and their ancestors on my mother’s side of the family—a tangible link to generations past. As I sifted through the collection, a wave of nostalgia washed over me, and I couldn't help but imagine the hands that held these delicate utensils, now in need of a good polish, covered in unsightly stains. Each piece seemed to carry whispers of family gatherings filled with laughter and the clinking of dishes, especially the soup spoons and a myriad of appetizer forks designed for olives, shrimp, and elegant hors d'oeuvres. It struck me how times have changed; these days, we often reach for simple metal forks instead. Even plasticware!
It became clear to me why my mother had such a strong appreciation for proper etiquette and the art of setting an exquisite table. She embodied the spirit of Martha Stewart long before that name became synonymous with gracious entertaining. As I carefully arranged the tableware, a sense of familiarity washed over me; I instinctively remembered where each fork, spoon, and knife belonged.
When my husband inquired, “Why do you bother?” I paused, knowing he had a point. My family wouldn’t notice the intricacies of my table settings, and yet it felt like an integral part of who I am. Even though I only engage in these elaborate displays during special holidays or for the rare occasions of entertaining, I find it impossible to set a table any other way. My mother’s lessons linger with me, guiding my hands as I create a beautiful setting that honors the traditions of our family, no matter how quaint it may seem.
While they may be visually appealing, their beauty really seems to be their only merit. Personally, I find no practical use for them. I have always gravitated towards materials other than silver, as it leaves an unpleasant sensation and taste in my mouth that I cannot tolerate.
You might be curious about whether I set a lovely table for my gatherings.
The answer is no, not really.
My approach is quite basic and simple. These days, it seems that few people actually care about table settings anymore.
However, I do take some time to present the food in attractive bowls. I pull out my new flatware, which I specifically purchased for special occasions. I also showcase my beloved wedding china – the beautiful set from my first wedding that has gracefully aged for 49 years.
Additionally, I have some exquisite crystal pieces from the same era, along with my mother's elegant crystal water glasses and goblets, which I reserve for serving sparkling cider.
Once everything is washed and cleaned, the treasured items are returned to the china cabinet, ready for the next special gathering, unnoticed and unappreciated by everyone but me.
As the clock ticks towards 3:30, a sense of anticipation fills the air, knowing that the family will begin to arrive around 4:15. In the kitchen, the husband busily peels potatoes. He’ll take charge of carving the turkey. Everything is prepared and just waiting for the time everyone gathers for Thanksgiving 2024.
Fall Photos in my front yard.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Until next time,
Debby
Oh, I appreciate a beautiful table setting, my friend. I do go out of my way to do so and like you; it was my mother and my paternal grandmother who taught me. I hope you had a beautiful Thanksgiving. smiles
ReplyDeleteThanks Linda.
DeleteSo you didn't use the silverware? I don't really like silverware either. It tarnishes and leaves a bad taste in the mouth. And you have to keep polishing it. Your mom did not mind some hard work though! I hope you had a great day!
ReplyDeleteNo - I haven’t ever used it because of the polishing and not even place settings. They just are in a box I see now and again.
DeleteMy mom didn’t use them - very few times. She had her own silverware that I believe my sister had. This is OLD.
That’s why I don’t use silver for the reasons you stated.
So many of us hold on to things like silverware for sentimental reasons, Debby. When something is special for you, you should treasure it as long as you can. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteI enjoy the old family heirlooms.
DeleteCount me right there with you, allowing nostalgia to wash over us. Only since we moved to Alabama do I have a dedicated dining room that i enjoy decorating for the seasons. Yes, to the appetizer forks -- only to realize we've no silver polish and had to improvise. (I know it's around here somewhere .......) I put out my mother's pretty crystal glassware but was probably the only one who appreciated it. Oh well!
ReplyDeleteI don’t always use them but they are nice once in awhile.
DeleteI have a tendency not to save things for special occasions but use them throughout the year.
ReplyDeleteI do not have silverware though.
My one grandmother set a beautiful table and cared about doing things right, my other one was more simple and I loved them both dearly!!!
Oh yeah, for years I used my China for everyday. Then that Corelle dinnerware came out. That stuff never breaks!
DeleteWhat a beautiful tribute to family traditions and the timeless value of meaningful gestures, like setting a thoughtful table. The memories and connections to your mother are so evident in the way you carry on her legacy. I’m sure those small details bring a lot of joy, even if others don’t always notice. I just shared a blog post, let me know what you think.
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by Melody. I’ll pop on over to take a look.
Deletemother would have loved to have your silver ware and would have done what you done, but we were so poor, we barely had 4 cheap spoons, forks and knives. she did try and always made the table beautiful, but most of the time we used decorative paper plates and plastic spoons and she actually washed the plastic and used it for the next time.
ReplyDeleteI hate to cook, and really mean that and on the few times I entertained, we grilled burgers and had baked beans and chips. before 2006 when everyone changed states, my kids would come and I would buy pretty paper plates, plastic cups and forks from Dollar Tree and leave the food on the stove and we ate buffet style. My aunt gave me real silverware for my wedding to go with the real set of China to go with it, in 1963 and it was never used until 1980 when I sold both of them and my wedding rings to finance my divorce.. I say if you love it do it, and don't even think about what anyone else thinks. most reading this would think it scandalous. do what you love and do a lot of it
It was popular in our day to receive China, silverware, crystal as wedding gifts.
DeleteI do, what I enjoy and that’s that! 😉
I enjoyed this post Debby, I like to set the table when we eat too. My family is use to it, but I think they still appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had my families silverware, I have no idea where it is.
Carla
That’s probably the same with mine. They just know I do it. No mention of it. I do remember years ago my youngest son told me he wanted me to help his wife decorate their home the way I would. Hahaha I told him, you’ll have to ask her about that! I’ve not been asked and I don’t blame her. So I do believe they appreciate it more than I think. They just don’t compliment because they’re guys!
DeleteI love family heirlooms and nostalgia and I bet that silverware means a great deal to you. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteIt’s special.
DeleteI enjoyed this post so much. I don't have "good silverware', except for a few serving pieces that I saved of my mother's. But I don't keep up with polishing them, and so they sit in the drawer and I use my stainless flatware. Although I set the table nicely, yesterday we used plastic cups that you can write your name on. We usually do that when we are expecting extra people and they become a kind of place card so you know where to sit and which cup is yours. My kids don't like my stemware and will go fill their Tervis thermal glasses with tea, which holds more. Sometimes I insist they use the real glassware, but it really isn't practical anymore. Also we usually serve buffet style as there just isn't room on the table for all the food and many things are in hot casserole dishes that can't be passed around. But my mother was a stickler for proper table settings and I am thankful for her example and lessons, but nowadays I appreciate being able to take a few shortcuts to save on time, energy and clean up. Besides, I don't have daughters and nieces to do all the dish washing afterwards, like my sister and cousin and I had to do every holiday. But I do have two sons, and thankfully they did the dishes yesterday while Rose and I took care of the leftovers. It was fun hearing the two brothers talking and laughing together at the sink while they did dishes. That was priceless to me, and better than having an automatic dishwasher any day! I enjoyed your post. It stirred up memories and thoughts, as you can see. That's what's fun about our blogging...we inspire and stir each other up to good things. Thank you, and Happy Thanksgiving and now on to Advent!
ReplyDeleteI’ve had occasions where I have used paper plates! I try not to use too many paper products but let’s face it, they are decorative and they make a table pop! Usually I use paper napkins instead. Or small paper plates for dessert. It really all depends on what mood I am in. lol
DeleteThe rule around here is, Mom cooks all day - after dinner, I leave the table and everyone cleans up! I can put up my feet and relax. I listen to them all talking and laughing. It always puts a smile on my face.
I really need to use my mother's china that I inherited more often. Problem being it needs handwashing and most of the time we need to get things cleared up quickly. Hopefully I can use it this Christmas.
ReplyDeleteMy table is set every night even though it is just Harvey and myself most nights.
God bless.
That would be the occasion to use it. I used to handwashing my China but I put it in the dishwasher. I use it so seldom that it looks fine. I figure at age 70+ if it wears out, so be it. It’s sad when I see full sets of China at the thrift stores! Adult children these days, want new!
DeleteThat’s sweet that you and Harvey set the table every night. I confess, we don’t do that as much as we used to. Only if we’re having a bigger meal that requires sitting at a table! Or spaghetti 🍝
Unfortunately whenever we buy any kind of silver for the store, folks buy it for the melting value on it and not for its beauty. Janice
ReplyDeleteI’ve heard that before.
DeleteDebby, it's so nice that you carry on with the tradition of nice table settings for special occasions as your mother did. That silverware is so charming. I'm not a fancy table setter myself. In fact, it's usually just buffet style here at the house, but I do appreciate anyone who sets an attractive table with love and care. I loved hearing your memories of the past. It's nice that you have that silverware from the past too. I have a few special keepsakes myself. They are a part of us, aren't they?
ReplyDelete~Sheri