Failure as a Stepping Stone
This week has been challenging as our Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) is selecting leaders for the upcoming year. I’m happy to report that one woman from my group has been assigned to the Children’s Ministry, which I believe she will excel in. I also submitted three names for consideration, with two candidates standing out as exceptional leaders.
However, there is one individual I wouldn’t recommend. She has approached me multiple times about wanting to be a leader and expressed hurt about not being asked in the past. While I like her, I don’t believe she possesses the qualities needed for effective leadership. Her confidence in her experience as a retired educator doesn't align with BSF's focus on facilitating biblical discussions rather than teaching. We have teacher leaders who do that - with weekly lectures.
What concerns me is that she has not shown a true sense of calling to shepherd the women in our group; her motivations seem based solely on her background as a teacher. I did inform the Administration Team of her interest but regret not voicing my reservations earlier. In hindsight, I realize I inadvertently placed my Administrator in a tough position by not sharing my concerns before submitting her name.
I found myself in a tough situation, as well - unsure how to navigate this. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I also felt caught in a difficult position where I knew the issue with her needed to be addressed, while other group leaders in the past just ignored her, which caused her more confused and hurt feelings. The thought of discussing her behind her back made me uncomfortable; I value our friendship too much for that. Looking back, I realize I completely dropped the ball on this. I wish I had taken a different approach. Whatever that would have been.
Definitely, a lesson in all of this for me.
No one likes to fail, and I have to remind myself that my successes and failures don’t define my worth. Failure can be a chance for growth. I can always turn to God for His guidance during setbacks, trusting that He is fulfilling His purposes in me (Philippians 2:13). This perspective helps me view failure as a stepping stone in my faith journey, relieving the pressure of perfection. I acknowledge the actions I took, and there's no way to change the past. I’m still waiting for an update on whether the Admin has discussed the situation with her; hopefully, that will happen later this week.
My Sweet Gum Tree welcomes Spring with its delicate green leaves shimmering in the gentle breeze. It won't be long before it unfurls its vibrant canopy, offering refuge from the blazing summer sun. As it grows, it will become a bustling sanctuary, providing cozy nests and shelter for the birds.
The top photo is the Shamrock plant that has been blooming since January.
That's it for me - on this Saturday.
Keep your eyes on Jesus...
Debby
That's a tough situation for sure. Those kinds of discussions are hard for all involved.
ReplyDeleteThe shamrock is so pretty!
Yes and as we mellow with age, even harder.
DeleteSometimes, it is difficult to follow our instincts about a person because of what we perceive society expects of us. May you find strength and resolve in the Lord's promise that we are not of this world, and reveal the same to this woman who isn't quite there yet. God loves her just as she is, leader or not. Blessings, Debby!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, Martha. She’s not there yet - I pray there are no hurt feelings.
DeleteWell, what matters is that you tried your best, and when you had discernment about this woman, you spoke up! Better late than never! Once you had her figured out, the easy way would have been to say and do nothing. But you took the high road.
ReplyDeleteIt would have come up again next year.
Deletegood morning, although as I type, you are most likely still asleep, its only 3:15 am where you are. Awesome photo of the sweet gum. I can't tell you how many things I have done and them looking behind saw what I did and wished I had not. Like you, I am able to admit I could have done better, and used it as a learning what to do the next time.
ReplyDeleteI used to tell my sons when they would lose a game in sports that they learn MORE when they lose as it builds character. A good coach will go over the loss over a game - pointing out what could have been done better.
DeleteI’m still learning and I’m also recognizing areas that I could improve on.
Perhaps you are being too hard on yourself. Whatever concerns you now have, pray to the Lord and ask Him for direction. God bless.
ReplyDeleteOh Victor, you’re right. Thank you for your words! God bless.
DeleteIt is too true that we often learn more from our failures than our successes. And because of Jesus, we can seek forgiveness and a fresh start. Wonderful reflection, Debby. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteThanks Martha. It was also good to write it out -
DeleteWhat a thought-provoking topic, Debby! All my life I've been self-critical; but at the same time notoriously sensitive to criticism. Fortunately, my past failures compelled me to grow despite the momentary pain. As a bystander (reader), I appreciate your candid - yet caring heart.
ReplyDeleteGod is teaching me. The role of group leader is way more than what it seems. I’m learning about the areas I need to improve on, and rely more on God’s help.
DeleteGood morning and my heart goes out for how this situation has made you feel. Often, things like this happen out of fear of hurting others. I would pray for the Holy Spirit to breath upon the administration as they search for new leaders and that the gift of discernment will lead them. Your clover picture is so pretty and the sweet gum tree has the "sweetest" green balls....that will eventually turn brown and make it difficult to walk under the tree!! I do love sweet gum trees though. Happy Sunday Debby...prayes for you as this selection continues.
ReplyDeleteHahaha and so true about those little brown “ itchy balls” My husband hates them and threatens to cut down the three we have. But they provide such a lovely canopy of shade.
DeleteThanks for your prayers.
thanks
ReplyDeleteI am not good with confronting people, but I've found that when I pray to know what action I should take an answer is sent my way.
ReplyDeleteYes, prayer is key!
DeleteI think church politics and leadership and the discussions that go on are so hard. I like your heart.
ReplyDeleteIt’s always such a delicate matter. There are heartstrings involved.
DeleteI seem to give my "I don't know " prayer a workout lately. Prayers for you and prayers for moving forward.. Thank you for your candor
ReplyDeleteSue
Thanks Sue
DeleteThe woman in your Bible study sounds earnest to play a role in the teaching. I'm not sure she's the right person, but what if she was. If she is retired, she might have a longing to help out and give something to the group. Only the Lord knows if she would do well or not, so you can pray for guidance on what to do next. It's really good of you to want to be upfront about this, and not talk behind her back. There are way too many of those around.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely picture of your Sweet Gum Tree.
~Sheri
I think that’s what I was thinking as well. She’s a bit rough around the edges but only God knows. The main thing, is she wanting to serve God and shepherd women or is this purely her wanting to teach. Only she can answer that.
DeleteThat would have been a tough decision and I probably would have done the same thing if it were in my shoes. We all can learn from our failures and I know Jesus is there to help us on that journey. Janice
ReplyDeleteHello, I can understand your feelings. I have been in situations like this, and just recently I was starting to get wrapped up in some other peoples "drama" ... I was thankful that I was all of a sudden stopped from taking part... I could feel a wall ... it was saying NO MORE!
ReplyDeleteI was so thankful!
Sending prayers, Carla
That was a difficult situation for sure. Maybe this person will grow in her teaching if she is mentored.
ReplyDeleteI love your shamrock!
Some things are not easy but still need to be done or said and we all fail at stuff nothing wrong with that and we can't change the past so we take a deep breath and move on, you have done well
ReplyDeleteYou were in a very difficult situation and one that would be extremely hard to navigate. Our bible study was a bit different. The first bit would be a teaching part, and then a bit later a small group discussion which one would lead, but not take over unless someone got way out in left field. In that case we were asked to bring it back gently to what was being discussed.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Definitely not an easy, or pleasant, situation. Perhaps she will not be ready to be a leader this year, but prayerfully God can use her desire to lead and she will allow herself to be mentored. One day, she may be really influencing and leading other women...more than ever imagined!
ReplyDelete